KITTEN TALK 31: WAX PLAY 101 🕯️
Talking about wax play wasn't originally in the bingo card this week, but I was inspired to do so the other day because I was lighting a candle and while moving it, the hot wax got on my hand (it wasn't fun- the wax was super-hot and dried quickly at the same time, so my poor finger suffered pure heat for a few but long seconds)
My mind for a moment was like " Do people really like hot wax poured on themselves?" and of course, the answer is yes, just not with this type of candle.
What is Wax Play?
Wax play is a type of kink activity when a person pours or drips hot wax from a candle onto their partner's naked skin. It's under " temperature play" (like when people use ice during sex) in BDSM to create pleasurable sensations during sex.
Why do people love Wax Play?
Wax play like I stated before, can bring exciting pleasurable sensations into the bedroom. The person having waxed dripped/ pour on them may experience a burning sensation that is highly pleasurable to them. Some people are really into sensory play (like the ice example I mentioned before), so this is a great way to practice something new.
How to introduce Wax Play into the bedroom?
With any type of sexual activity, especially when we get into kinks, communication and transparency is important. I recommend finding a time with your partner, where you are away from distractions, and can bring up the topic. For example, you can start off the conversation asking your partner " Is there anything you've been wanting to try lately?" or " I have been looking at this lately, what do you think?" You can show your partner this blog or whatever research you have been doing lately. You can send them information so they can do their own research (and decide if it's something they want to try) Some people are more open to do things than others and some people may just need more time to decide. The number one rule is CONSENT and COMMUNICATION and to not try to " convince" your partner to do something. It's important to express your desires but also listen to your partner's thoughts and boundaries.
Tips on Wax Play
So now if you and your partner have decided to move forward, here are some tips.
1. The type of candles to use: First of all, that Bath and Body Works Champagne Toast (one of my fave scents) is not the type of candle you want to use. It smells good but definitely not what you want to use in sexy wax time (maybe light it in the background instead!) You want to use soy based candles because they have a low burning temperature, are natural and cause less skin irritation. Some also contain massage oils, so when it melts, you have oil to rub and massage on your partner. These massage oils do not replace lubrication though, so if you plan to do more such as penetration or use toys after wax play, have a proper lubrication on hand.
2. Try it on yourself. Test pouring the wax from different heights onto your own body to gouge how it may feel... It's also good way to see if you or your partner may get some type of irritation, especially if you have sensitive skin. Never pour the wax on areas of hair (it can be a bit painful to pick it off) or on areas where it can easily scar, such as your face (the skin is thinner there)
3. Make sure the area is safe and organized for wax play. Make sure you have a clear clean space in order to set the candle down and make sure nothing catches on fire; you are playing with a flame! Keep highly flammable fabrics and items away from the flame. Have water nearby or even an extinguisher in case the flame gets crazy.
4. Being present. Open communication while using an open flame is highly important. As you do it, check in with your partner here and there, asking if they like the wax dripped from this distance above or if the pain is becoming too much. It's never a bad idea to make sure your partner is comfortable. Maybe also lay off the alcohol/ substances. Being as sober as possible can keep you alert and make sure you aren't going to drop the candle on your partner, not understand anything they're saying or possibly forgetting to turn off the flame once you're done.
5. Aftercare. I will shout it to the rooftops until my vocal chords rip. Aftercare is so important, especially in kink. It's always a great idea to check in with your partner and see what they liked, didn't like and if they want to have it as part of your sexual play. If you were the one in charge of handling the wax, it's always a romantic thing to help your partner clean themselves up.
If you follow these tips, along with thorough research, you are bound to have an amazing time! I highly recommend being present, responsible and keeping tabs on your partner throughout the session.
Let me know in the comments below if you are interested in wax play, want to learn more or have any additional tips!
Bye Kittens 💋