KITTEN TALK 7 : Taking Back Your Voice

Hey Everyone!

I am actually writing this blog post super late today. It is almost 11pm here ( EST time) but had this idea for a blog post and decided to start it now. Even if I don't finish it tonight and then finish it later and post for yall to see then.. so be it.

Not feeling the best right now, and I been a bit ghost again, but I wanted to reconnect with you guys with another blog post. And hopefully this helps you in some way.

I decided to talk about taking back your voice, and by that I mean, expressing yourself better, knowing what you want, drawing boundaries, etc. Note I said, " taking back your voice" not finding it. Finding it implies you never had one. But I believe we all possess one, it was just squashed under other people's/ society's  expectations, opinions, etc.

What really drew my attention to speaking about this, was my own personal life. For example, I am getting back into studying Korean more seriously ( and Mandarin Chinese at times, since I studied abroad for my degree back in 2018) And my mind went back through all the times people told me " You should learn just Chinese it's good for business" "if you learn xyz languages you can work for the UN"  and " Sooo many people would love a tutor and you get paid well for that, charge them X amount " 

Now don't get me wrong, if you want to learn a language, and charge X amount of money to help someone learn, go ahead. I have done it. I enjoyed my students, but I am learning that THAT is not the reason I want to learn these languages. I want to learn because I find the cultures interesting. I find the languages beautiful. I always been into foreign languages growing up and even tried to teach myself French in middle school. I always enjoyed learning new cultures in general, and that is why I love to learn them. It is NOT about money. And to always be told that I should learn xyz language to make a buck out of it, was not aligning with the reasons why I would want to learn. And having those external thoughts in the back of my head, was actually not motivating me at all, but making me feel I have to compete or get to some level, rather than the enjoyment. Hobbies don't have to become monetary. You're not a object. If you enjoy writing just for the fuck of it, do that. Don't feel you have to monetize everything you enjoy to do.

Another example I have is relationships in our life. Romantic or platonic. We may have people in our life that always have a rebuttal or downplay or make excuses for other's actions. I see too many people play devil's advocate for stuff that shouldn't have an advocate lol. But I digress. My point is let's say something someone said really bothered you, or a certain event happened , you have a right to feel this or that way about it. Just because another person doesn't see it that way or doesn't care, doesn't mean how you feel is invalid. Stand by how you feel, and tune out anyone who tries to make you feel bad because they can't understand. 

This also goes with boundaries. Boundaries is a touchy subject for some people, because some of us may been taught that boundaries are selfish or we're being " difficult " for having standards or " too sensitive" when we're telling someone they fucked up. But boundaries literally keep you sane. Sit down, and think about boundaries you have or may not have, and exercise them whenever a situation arises. If you have work tomorrow, and you wake up at 7 am, and you have a friend who texts you 7 am on the dot blowing up your phone about the ex they shouldn't have drunk called, don't feel a rush to respond if you don't feel like it. Unless it's an emergency, you don't need to roll out of bed and call that friend and hear her vent at 7 am in the morning, you haven't even had your coffee yet. You can tell that friend you will talk to her later, or you can say that you don't answer texts before a certain time, and you would appreciate it if they respect that boundary. And if that friend doesn't respect that , off they go.

There is no reason to keep people who don't respect your boundaries in your life. Boundaries keep your sanity I swear. And boundaries can also help save friendships/ relationships. Drawing a boundary doesn't mean you or whoever else is bad. 

I wish I had more to say, but that is mainly what is coming up. I am bit under the weather and tired due to a lot happening in my life these past weeks. But I am aiming to be more consistent and present for you guys as time moves on. 

As always, if you found this useful, let me know by commenting below your thoughts. If you have any suggestions, feel free to DM or send an email or comment under our posts. I always see it ! I love you all, XOXO