KITTEN TALK 19: MINDFULNESS TIPS 💭
Happy Sunday Kittens !
I hope you’re all doing super great.
I was inspired to write this post and as a girly who can sometimes have so many things happening at once or also dealing with my anxiety at times - I felt like sharing some mindfulness tips. Especially when it starts to affect things outside of ourselves- even our sex lives.
First let's define mindfulness.
Mindfulness is a mental state achieved when we focus on the present moment- while also calmly acknowledging and accepting our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations.
At times when we may be stuck looping the pastor worried abut the future, being in the state of mindfulness can help us connect again to ourselves and our surroundings.
Tip #1 : Setting a routine.
Maybe you drink tea first thing in the morning, you get ready for work , kiss your spouse ( or tangle in the sheets ) for a bit and then rush to work. Sometimes our mind can get so jumbled in rushing in the morning that we don’t take the time to really savor waking up and seeing another day. Instead of waking 20 minutes after your alarm and haphazardly finding clean clothes to wear- wake up early , take the time set your station up and make your tea. Get the pot ( or kettle but I grew up a little hood so we just boil water in a pot until it steams up) , get the tea bag or whatever else ingredients you use and pour into your favorite mug. Really enjoy the flavor. Even when taking a shower bask into the warmth of the water ( or cold if you prefer ) and visualize the amazing day you’ll have. I know we all hear about " spontaneity " with sex and that it's not as hot or exciting if its "planned" but try it out. Set a time for it, maybe cook a nice meal or your partner does so, flirt, touch, make eye contact- whatever and see how it goes! Switching it up by scheduling, building up anticipation- makes things spicier !
Tip #2 : Meditation
Sometimes we get lost in our thoughts. We have so many things to do. So many commitments or hobbies or people that it’s like a hurricane in our minds. I admit maybe only up to a few years ago- I started meditation. I used to think it was bullshit until I really tried LOL. Meditation can be as easy as laying down in bed or sitting cross legged on the floor, going on YouTube and typing in meditation and just finding anything that catches your attention. Even meditating for a few minutes I find can really calm the mind. I like meditating first thing in the morning before I start my day and at night before bed. People also meditate before sex - it can help clear your mind from the day’s stresses and keep you more focused on your partners ( and you ) pleasure. Setting a time slot before coitus to release the stresses of the day or work thorough some issues ( feel more than welcome to share with your partner) so you can put your complete focus on pleasure.
Tip #3: Affirmations
This kind of goes hand in hand with meditation. I loveeee affirmations. I usually start my day listening to affirmation videos and reciting them in the mirror. They really boost your confidence and there's so many out there or you can come up with your own and just repeat them. It also helps to write them down in a journal a few times and recite outloud to yourself. Repetition is important- to get a little sciencey, Neuroplasticity is the ability for the neuro networks in our brains to change through growth / reorganization.It is basically rewiring the brain. I promise if you incorporate this into your life, and you not only REPEAT but BELIEVE these affirmations- you will start to see a change in your life. Whether you struggle with low self- esteem , negative self image or other issues- affirmations can definitely support you in your journey to self love and living your ideal life. Ever since I promised myself I will do this along with other spirituality work- I have seen drastic change in my life.
Tip #4: Honor your boundaries
I really want to emphasize to my Kittens ( or anyone reading this) that I’m a total advocate for boundaries, consent and honoring ourselves. You may think you're doing something " good" or being a " good person" when you agree to do things to make someone else feel good. Be comfortable in the idea people may disagree or even be upset when you say " no". It’s okay to say “ No” to your partner(s) if you’re not in the mood for sex. Life can hit us at times and sometimes we’re just not in the mood for hanky panky. It’s your body and anyone should feel honored you feel they are worthy enough to share moments of vulnerability with you ( we can get into safe sex and all that - but sex always carries risk - like it or not - pregnancy , STD(I)s , etc etc. If your partner(s) get mad or try to pressure you to doing something anyway - I advise you evaluate if this is something you want to deal with. And never say “ Yes” when it’s really “ No” that can also build resentment towards our partner(s) and cause rifts in relationships when we’re doing things for the comfort of others. If you find though that you’re constantly avoiding / making excuses to not have sex, there may be a bigger issue at play here - and I would suggest thinking about why this is happening. And if you can’t figure it out - I offer 1-1 sessions on identifying and working through sexual issues.
I highly recommend incorporating if not all- atleast 1 of these methods into your life order to have a more fufilling, connected, balanced approach to things.
Which one will you choose starting today?
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Until next time.
XOXO
Brianna
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