KITTEN TALK 13: ATTACHMENTS

Hey Kittens !

I hope January was a great month for you, and who else is excited for February?? I kept forgetting it was the 1st until I journaled last night.

Today’s topic was inspired by some thoughts swarming in my head, along with the Universe’s synchronicity by having me see certain posts by my favorite creators about this similar topic all over my Instagram feed. 

All of us have dealt with some type of attachments in life. Whether they were romantic or platonic or having to do with family or some type of thing.

Lately I have been learning to let go. To let go of people, places and things , even old thought patterns and behaviors that have protected me up to this point, but no longer serve me. This is a year I told myself I want to be open to new beginnings and changes, but it’s been a bit tough lately for me and I had to release some tears last night.

Before I go further, you may be familiar with attachments or may know what they mean but I will share a definition : An attachmnet ( in relationships) is when there is an emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space"

I have done some research here and there, but I know there are different types of attachments and below are 4 I see discussed often:

1. Secure

2. Anxious ( pre-occupied)

3. Avoidant ( Dismissive)

4. Disorganized ( Fearful Avoidant)

Though I can get in much more detail about each attachment, I will save that for a future blog post and just focus on personal anecdotes and observations I have made lately.

On my Instagram feed alot of spiritual pages and coaches I follow happened to be sharing similar posts about new beginnings, dropping old habits, self awareness and it all was in synchronicity of what I have been dealing with.

Even before 2023 had started, I told myself " This is MY year. It's ME season". I am going to focus more on msyelf, my projects, career , what makes me feel good and be receptive to all things good that life offers.

But ofcourse all that entails EMBODYING those things. You can shout " new year, new me" and " fuck everybody who isn't good for me" until you're blue but are you REALLY doing it? Are you taking yourself seriously? Did you give up and we haven't even hit the first 6 months of the year yet?

I'm learning embodying is the key. 

I always been someone wo wants everybody to win. I wanted everybody I know and close with at the table. When something good will happen I tell everyone because I was excited. I tended to overextend myself and had fears ( I am still working through) of losing friendships and losing people ( it will feel like the end of the world, but I lived just fine by the way)

I think we fear the unknown because " what we know" up to this point is a result of childhood conditioning, the people around us and trauma. What is " familiar" is more predictable and seems safer than trying a new way of living. Dating your ex for the 8th time this month and saying " it's complicated" is unhealthy but is the safer approach than finding new people to rendeszvous with. Asking that same group of " friends" who say some hater shit ( but you been friends with them since Highschool) to hang out is " safer" than those cool new people you met at a social last week.

Ofcourse, it'll take time time to open up to new experiences, but my point is we can get scared and shut things down before we try. That new guy can be an amazing person or those people who invited you to a class can become great friends, but you won't know until you try.

And I think a lot of it has to do with guilt too. Guilty about moving on ( cause your ex is blowing up your phone, block them) , guilty about looking like you think you're better than others, guilty about growing out of friendships, guilty to be the first to do something never done before. Sometimes we may feel " indebted" to others or we that we have to stick certain things out because we were taught that's how life is.

The truth is not letting go keeps us stagnant. Change is inevitable, and resisting it just makes things harder than necessary.

Try not to resist the changes that are coming. Easier said than done at times, but it'll drain you holding tight to things that no longer serve you. Recognize and work through such situations.

And try things you have never done before. Pick up that book you have been wanting to read. Establish boundaries with people. Join that networking event. Open up to new people. You never know where it can lead you. 

This week I want you to try something out of your comfort zone. 

I hope you all enjoyed this post! I know I did. Feel free to comment your thoughts and ideas down below. Thank you Kittens !