KITTEN TALK 6 : Moving on & Forgiveness

Hey Kittens !! How are all of you ??

This is a topic that has been weighly heavily on my * clicks teeth * noggin ( Bailey Sarian) voice. 

May or may not be becauses of my latest ahem...trip

Anyways, it has been on my mind lately, and I also been seeing alot of social media post about it , plus doing my usual self reflections and shadow work.

So today's post about moving on and forgiveness.

Heavy right? But I think its something we all go through and I mean we advocate for healthy behaviors and mental health here.

So I want to start off with the difference between Moving Past vs Moving On in certain situations.

Wait , there's a difference? Well I am here to tell yes. I learned a bit from my therapist.

Moving Past a situation I mean maybe you cut certain people out of your life, you don't speak to whoever has hurt you severely. You're living life as is.

But let's say you often have flashbacks. You still feeling anger towards this and this person. You might feel anger or frustration at yourself. You might revisit the situation often in your head wishing you knew better or wishing you didn't meet xy or z. This is moving past a situation because yeah you may not have contact with so and so , but the situation still feels fresh. You never really healed from whatever happened, you kinda just buried it hoping living life as is eventually you'll forget about it.

I think in reality we never truly forget traumas. I don't think you "continue" like as is depending on what happened. 

Moving On I think is when you take the time to reflect and evaluate a situation. You take the time to process your feelings. You can look back and think : yeah it happened " but you're not punishing yourself for making mistakes, you're not reprimanding yourself for behaving a certain way when you were hurt or iternalizing what others said or did to you.

I will be honest in this and say : You will wait your whole life for sorry.

Sometimes people won't give a damn they hurt you. Remember people act out on projections sometimes, and they may feel what they did was justified * shrug* that is how it is. 

And depending who you're dealing with ( a narcissist) know that the sorry may not be genuine. It's only a way to make you feel guilty and accept them back into your life.

Now I am not saying all people are like this. Everyone deals with shit in life. I like to think MOST people in this world don't actively be out here intentionally hurting others. 

But it is reality that intentionally or not, we hurt someone in life. That is human nature.

Forgiveness , to a hurt person, may feel like we are allowing whoever hurt us to get away with it. That forgiving what we felt or been through doesn't matter. 

I am here to tell you that isn't true. I believe and I feel most people I have spoken to, understand FORGIVENESS is more about you and not those who hurt you.

If we don't accept and forgive certain situations, we carry that pain. We carry a pain that starts to become a hindrance.

Maybe you had a bad breakup. Maybe a friend betrayed you or you deal with narcisstic family members. 

Holding that pain forever will prevent you from finding a partner. Or you may repeat the cycle you been through and mistreat them. If you close yourself off you might miss out on finding better friends, or you become a bit selfish when it comes to future children of yours. 

It may feel we're protecting ourselves but really these behaviors block our blessings, better things coming into our lives because we're letting past people who may not be in our lives anymore, control us still in a way.

A lot of this is better said than done. But I promise you holding onto pain forever and ujsing the excuse " I need to protect myself" is blocking you from the best days of your life. Blocking you from the best days experiences and people who can make life better than it is at times.

I used to be someone like that, I felt forgiveness was letting someone get away scot free. But then I saw how holding onto pain, was making my life stagnant. I was holding anger and pain from people I may never speak to again, yet they had a hold on me still. I felt drained and anxious. I felt negative and pessimistic about my future.

Self work takes work. So does accepting the fact forgiveness is the true way we move on from situations. You will no longer hold anger or punish yourself. I promise you will feel at peace once you let yourself be vulnerable and address your pains.

That is it ! I promise I will get more into details about certain things. Such as the ego, vulnerability, etc

Thank you so much for reading !! Feel free to share and express your thoughts in the comments down below.